Butterfly...

There's a felt silver and gold butterfly hanging in my room. It's nothing special, just some cloth and glitter held together by school glue and cut in the shape of wings and a body by a small child's hand. At the time I didn't really appreciate it. i thought it was ugly and was disappointed that it hadn't matched what I saw in my mind at all. But I liked the sparkle so I hung it up anyway. Now every time I see it I feel a sense of nostalgia. I want to go back to the 6 year old who made it. i want that time when my biggest concerns were the shapes not cutting out properly or whether or not the teachers would notice that I had used more glitter than was allowed. I just want to lose these worries about my education, my social life, romantic life, what I'm going to do with myself. That butterfly has been hanging in the exact same spot for over 18 years now and it hasn't changed at all. Sometimes I wish I could do that. Just suspend myself in a shining sparkling moment for a little bit longer. More and more these days I feel like everything's spinning away from me. Like I'm moving through moments quicker than I can handle. I can't hold on to anything, it doesn't matter how much I try. it all ends and all I'm left with is that memory. That stupid butterfly. Staring at it spinning and catching the light and losing it. Remembering but never being able to really go back